Season 1, Episode 14: The Slumber Party

This week, we watched Season 1, Episode 14: Slumber Party.

The episode starts in the Walsh kitchen, where Brandon, in a silky vest questions Brenda about her plans for the evening. Brenda says she is hosting a night of “female empowerment,” while Brandon and Jim call it a slumber party. I see the writers thought hard and long for the title.

Brandon asks Andrea what she has planned for the evening, and she tells him she is attending a woman’s conference at his house. He seems just as surprised as we are that Brenda invited her. Kelly and Donna want to clarify that it’s not a slumber party, especially when Kelly reveals that she invited another one of her “lifelong” friends, Amanda. David over years and tells Scott that they are “so there.” Seriously, how did he not get arrested the first season?Steve invites Brandon to do something with him that evening to help keep him out of the house. 

It’s “not slumber party” time, and Brenda is already in her pajamas……which is an oversized man’s plaid button up shirt…..which she’s paired with slouchy white socks and black dress shoes? 

Steve and Brandon attempt to sneak into a club called floodlight, or flashlight. It’s hard to tell because it is written in cursive and in neon light. Steve thinks that the bouncer will overlook their age, and Brandon’s tie, if Steve gives him money. Steve is wrong. Apparently the bouncer cares about his job and the law. The flash of cash did entice two young ladies dressed in lingerie. They introduce themselves as Trina and Shelly. Trina May look familiar, as she is the nanny from “Growing Pains,” that was also Mike’s girlfriend until Kirk Cameron discovered she had posed in Playboy and decided that didn’t fit his “Left Behind” aesthetic. Shelly, who seems to have borrowed Brenda’s headband from last week and looks creepily similar to her, was Hilly in “Weird Science.” She was also stabbed while laying naked in a raft in a lake in “Friday the 13th pt. 4.” The girls invite the boys to go for a ride in Steve’s car. There are only 2 seats, so all 4 of them squeeze into the front seat, and I’m pretty sure none of them have their seat belt on. Trina seems very interest in Steve’s manual transmission…..there was no other way to do that that wasn’t horribly sexual.

At the slumber party, the girls are dancing to a song that Hulu couldn’t get the rights to, so they appear to have no rhythm…..although the longer I watch, that could just be the case. Cindy comes in with snacks and the girls make her dance, and she keeps her eyes closed the whole time. She is also frightened of the dancing. Amanda walks in, silently judging everyone. She tries to convince a Kelly to leave and go to a frat party, so someone can enjoy her blazer. For those of you paying attention, Amanda was also in the movie “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” which also starred Luke Perry and Hillary Swank, who will join the cast in a few seasons. It’s either genius casting or super lazy casting. 

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They head into the kitchen to eat ice cream, cookies, and chips. Kelly asks Amanda what she wants and she declines. She tells her she should eat, or else she’ll make the rest of them look like pigs. Amanda replies, “You said it, I didn’t.” Not to be out-bitched, Brenda grabs her ice cream, and snorts as she walks out.

Trina and Shelly suggest they all go to a parking lot of a closed down school, and all I can think is that Steve and Brandon need to stay sexy and don’t get murdered! They agree, though, because all of the blood has drained from their brain.

Back at Casa Walsh, Andrea breaks out a ouija board. Amanda mocks her, and Andrea tells her that it’s very powerful. Kelly pushes the planchette because I can see her fingers, and suddenly, there are flashes of light. It’s David and Scott, taking photos like a f’in creeper. All he’s missing is a trench coat and a tiny penis. It’s after midnight, so Amanda is angry that she’s too late to go to the frat party, and suggests they play “Skeletons in the Closet,” a game where someone sits in the circle, and everyone asks them personal questions.

Back at the parking lot, the four of them start making our. While sitting next to each other. And Steve is louder than Brandon. Gross. Trina asks to drive the Vette, saying it will make her go crazy. Steve kicks everyone out, while Trina strips Steve’s gears. She stops and tells Shelly to get in the car, and then peel out of the parking lot.

Steve has a hard time admitting that the girls were not into him, and that they scammed him instead. And then he has to poop, but I think he’s supposed to be crying. Steve asks Brandon to keep it quiet, and I feel like Brandon is keeping a lot of secrets for him.

Kelly is in the circle. Brenda and Donna ask her a couple of innocuous questions, which displeases Amanda. Andrea comes in, guns blazing. She asks Kelly what her first sexual experience was like. Kelly starts telling a story about when she and Steve were dating. Amanda stops her, and tells her to tell them about the real first time she had sex. She immediately begins tearing up, and starts telling them about Ross Weber, a senior football player who she had a crush on. She ended up joining him at a party, where everyone was drinking. Ross convinced her to go into the woods with him, where he assaulted her. Jennie Garth turns in another fantastic emotional performance in this scene.

Steve and Brandon talk to the police about the girls driving off in Steve’s car, and the officer tells them that Steve allowed her to drive his car, so it’s not theft until they don’t return it. He tells them they have to wait 48 hours to report it stolen. There is talk of consent, and I’m sure we are supposed to draw some parallels, but come on writers…..it’s a pretty cheap attempt.

Back at Casa Walsh, Andrea is in the circle, and Amanda asks her why she pronounces her name the way she does. She says that it can be pronounced both ways (all right Brandon, you were right), but she prefers Andrea because it is unique and different. Amanda then asks if she has ever slept with a guy before and she says, “No.” The girls then ask her if she could sleep with any guy at school, who would it be. She tells them it’s a lifeguard she met the previous summer. Amanda and Kelly call her out, and she admits to it.

At the police station, Brandon and Steve debate about whose mother to call, and they settle on Cindy, obviously. The police officer approaches them and tells them they just picked up 2 girls speeding in a Corvette with vanity plates.

It’s Donna’s turn in the hot seat, but she has nothing interesting to share. Amanda tells her that anyone who has no secrets to share is either lying or a total zero. Brenda snaps, and Amanda says that she hears Brenda has some juicy secrets.

Brandon and Steve confront Shelly and Trina about stealing Steve’s car, and they have concocted a story about getting lost, and speeding so they could try to find the boys. And Steve believes it. Brandon is like, “Hey dumb ass, they are liars….and thieves.” Steve sees it as an opportunity to get them to “work” for his forgiveness and tells the officer to let them go. The officer can’t because Trina has a warranty for a previous unpaid parking ticket. Steve flashes his credit card. I’m assuming at this point, all the blood has moved away from his brain and that’s why he is not thinking.

Kelly asks Brenda what the most outrageous thing she’s ever done is. I don’t mean to beat a dead horse, but did anyone pay attention that time she cut her bangs? Brenda says that she went with some friends to the lake during the summer and the boys they were with went skinny dipping. Instead of joining, they stole the boys’ clothing. Amanda mocks her, and Brenda tells her that she is a bitch. Takes one to know one, Brenda. Amanda pushes Brenda, and she finally confesses that she made out with her best friend’s boyfriend.  When her friend Marjory found out, she called her hysterical. Brenda says she did it to break them up. (Insert Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around Comes Around.”) Kelly admits that after Brenda started dating Dylan, she tried to get a date with him. She says that they had been flirting the whole prior school year. Brenda asked if they went out, and when Kelly says no, Brenda retorts that clearly “He wasn’t interested.” Poor, naïve Brenda. Brenda lashes out, and Kelly tells her that since she started dating Dylan, she’s become very stuck up. Donna concurs. Brenda says that Kelly and Donna are the most stuck up people she knows. Holy cripes. Birds of a feather. I feel like this has devolved into . Andrea gets angry that they are all fighting and stands up to leave. Kelly and Donna join her, and Kelly says that she wishes she never would have told them anything. Brenda stops her and tells her that she is glad she told her and they make up. And then Kelly says, “I would never try to steal Dylan from you.” And Brenda replies, “I lost one best friend because of some guy. I’m not going to lose 2.” And then Donna says, when I’m not such a goody goody, I’ll tell you sluts about it. Amanda has had enough, and leaves, leaving her purse behind. Donna trips, spilling the contents of Amanda’s purse on the floor. They discover a plethora of diet pills, and assume that’s why Amanda is such a bitch. I get it. I become a monster when I’m hungry. And I’m hungry all the time. Kelly asks her why she’s doing this to herself. So. Much. Foreshadowing. Amanda apparently used to be fat, and I can’t help but think it’s probably the Monica Geller version of “fat.” “Guys don’t go for fat chicks. Everyone knows that.” Amanda cries. Uh, move to the Midwest Amanda. They love us here. Amanda tries to leave, but Brenda asks her to stay. Donna heads to the kitchen to grab some cookies, and Amanda tells her to bring the box. One night at the Walshes and Amanda is cured!

Trina’s Way of making it up to Steve is by gifting him with one free manicure from her nail salon. Steve is upset. If only someone had tried to tell you….