This weeks episode, Hulu‘s number five, is “For the First Time“. I’m sure we are all aware what they are talking about. It’s always interesting to juxtapose Jim Walsh in this episode and Jim Walsh in “Beach Blanket Brandon.”
The opening scene takes place in the twins shared bathroom, where Brandon is standing shirtless in jeans and an obnoxiously thick neck chain, while Brenda exposes part of her midriff in her boxer shorts, seemingly in an homage to “Flowers in the Attic.” Brandon goes on a diatribe about the lack of seasons and clean air in LA when the phone rings. Brenda says she hopes it’s not for her, because when her friends come after 11, Jim tells them that she is sleeping. Neither of them make an attempt to answer the phone. Jim not only doesn’t tell the caller that Brandon is sleeping, he even hand delivers the phone to him. #DoubleStandard. Everyone is super interested in Brandon‘s phone conversation with his Minnesota girlfriend, which entails her telling Brandon that she is coming to Beverly Hills the very next day. No one finds this suspicious? Either you give plenty of notice or no notice at all. We call that a surprise.
Brandon has to ask Andrea (which he still pronounces as Ann-drea) if someone can cover the sports ball game over the weekend, so he can spend time with his ex-girlfriend. Through Andrea’s possessive grilling, we learn that Brandon and his girlfriend dated for a year, but Brandon doesn’t believe in long distance relationships. That’s good, because all those girls you’ve dated since you moved to Beverly Hills might make you look like a bad guy.
Brenda’s got the hots for her algebra teacher, who is libel to break out into a rendition of “Jessie‘s girl“ at any moment.
In tech class, Brandon is pulling on some wires on some metal thing, and telling Dylan all about Cheryl, who is not only beautiful, but also has a great personality. That is a ringing endorsement from Brandon. He states that he hasn’t found anyone that even compares, and believe me, he’s been looking. I said that, not Brandon. He also confesses that it they’ve never slept together, because, you know, he really respects women. I also said that.
The algebra teacher asks Brenda to stay after class, and she daydreams that he invites her to run away with him, all while wearing what looks to be a horrible wig. What he is really asking her is to babysit. I know this is the 90s, but is having a current student in charge of your children and at your house the best idea?
Brandon looks pensively at his computer screen, prompting Andrea to quiz him about his expectations for the weekend. This causes him to be more pensive. Distracted and pensive, he runs into David, literally runs into him and knocks his books everywhere. Dylan, wearing what looks like plaid pajama pants, tell Brandon to bring Cheryl by the hotel so he can meet her. David introduce himself as Steve’s friend and tells Brandon that Steve was telling him about his out of town a girlfriend coming into town. Why is Steve talking about Brandon‘s girlfriend with other dudes? Like how does it get brought up organically in conversation? David commiserates with Brandon about his 12-year-old camp crush, and I begin to wonder if this has just happened. #Awkward.
Brandon speeds home after school, we know he’s beating because his tires squeal as he goes around the corner, and Miranda waits until they get home to put on her John Lennon sunglasses. Apparently, it is only sunny in that brief patch of yard from the car.
Cheryl catches Brenda up on all the gossip from Minnesota and a few things come out in the conversation. Cheryl makes a comment about the abundance of rich, good looking guys in Beverly Hills, to which Brenda says, the cutest guy at West Beverly is her freaking Rick Springfield algebra teacher. I’m assuming she’s at least seen Dylan, right? Then Jim asked Cindy if everyone is in bed. And then jokingly asked if Cheryl will actually stay in Brenda’s room. Jokes about it nonchalantly. #Hypocrite
Brandon sneaks into the bathroom where Cheryl is getting out of the shower. I really got to learn that towel track that TV/movies use with a towel looks like a dress. Apparently none of these women actually have breasts. He tries to convince her to come into his room later to do “special things.“ She is hesitant and I’m trying to decide if it’s his chain or his noisy kisses that are killing the mood for her.
Neither Cheryl, Brandon, or Cindy can sleep. Cindy, amazingly enough, can hear Brandon‘s inside door open and shut even though she slept through the time Brandon came stumbling into the house after curfew when he went on that ill-fated date with Mary Anne. Brandon, of course, is responsible and has protection. Cindy can use some too, against Jim’s DGAF attitude about Brandon’s sex life.
Brandon wakes up early and listens to jazz music, because that’s what people do after they lose their virginity. Brandon and Cheryl leave to go sightseeing and we see Beverly Hills through the lens of Cheryl’s camera. I have a feeling she’s going to be pretty bummed when she develops those pictures she don’t. They stop off after the Bel Age hotel to say hi to Dylan who tells Cheryl if you can get them into a club where the stars congregate. He asked her about her relationship with Brandon while Brandon and slips off to the bathroom and she seems pretty bitter about their distance.
Cheryl and Brenda are getting dressed while talking about the club, Dylan, and Brenda’s teacher. Cheryl shirt has far too many appliqués to wear anywhere, let alone a club in LA. There’s a conversation between Jim and Cindy about the appropriateness of a 16-year-old having sex under his parents roof and I’m not going any further into it because I cringe at Jim’s attitude and in general given I’ve only got 2 1/2 years until I have a 16-year-old.
Cheryl asks to ride to the club with Dylan and his Porsche while Brandan drives Brenda to her teachers house. Brenda seems to have no interest in Dylan and vice versa. Brandon raises concerns with Brenda, who all of a sudden isn’t in a big hurry to get to her babysitting job, about Cheryl and Dylan and she tells him he is being paranoid.
Mr. Brody’s, the algebra teacher, wife is seemingly a complete bitch as she complains about what he is wearing and forces him to change. The children seem to take after her, as one dumps out Brenda’s purse, and the other says she doesn’t need a sitter.
Brandon sneaks past a pretty badat his job and simple hair care bouncer and catches Dylan and Cheryl slow dancing. To be fair, no one on the dance floor actually seems to know what the beat is. Brandon confronts Dylan about having to sneak in, although he never actually gave the bouncer his name. Cheryl storms off to the bathroom, and Brandon tells Dylan to back off. Dylan informs Brandon that Cheryl hit on him and not the other way around. Mr. passive punches Dylan in the face. Dylan ruffles Brandon shirt and tells him he had better figure out who his friends are before taking his vest and leaving.
Brandon finds Cheryl at the bar, consuming and obnoxiously blue drink, and it looks delicious. She gets angry when he tells her it’s time to go. Brandon assumes that they should be closer “than ever” since they slept together and Cheryl admits that she’s had sex before. I wish she hadn’t, because it causes Brandan to use the phrase “jump your bones.“ Cheryl storms off and Brandan smacks the delicious drink out of the bar. He is very aggressive in this episode. Also, way to be conspicuous, underage drinker.
Brenda isn’t having a good time babysitting either, and then Kelly and Donna show up. The Brodys come home early and Mrs. Brody isn’t happy about the extra guests or in the condition of the house. I remember at 14, watching this and thinking about what a bitch she was and now I’m honestly like SAME.
Kelly drives Brenda home, where Brenda reveals that she is no longer into Mr. Brody. The only reason I mention this is that when Brenda gets out of the front seat, Donna doesn’t move from the back, so Kelly drives away with her in the backseat like “Driving Miss Daisy.”
Brenda catches Cindy rifling through Cheryl’s things and Cindy tells her that Cheryl ran away from home. Meanwhile, Brandon tracks Cheryl down to Dylan’s room, but Dylan insist that he isn’t interested in her and he’s also apparently forgotten that Brandon just punched him in the face. Cheryl admits that she is super codependent because she’s only happy when she’s with Brandon. She hates her stepfather and her father seems to of disappeared from her life. (hello daddy issues)
Brandon and Cheryl head back to Casa Walsh, where Brenda figures out that they have slept together. She then says the most accurate thing ever, “Everything Brandon does is fine. If this were me, you’d be freaking out.” Cheryl and Brandon say goodbye, and he still insists on knowing who else she has slept with, and she tells him it doesn’t matter. Which it doesn’t Brandon, it’s not your business. She then tells him he is a wonderful lover and I thought Brenda, who overheard, feels as awkward as we all do and then she smiles. #Creepy. Also, is she competing in the tour de France in that outfit? That’s a lot of neon and Lycra.
Jim is in charge of the sex talk with Brandon and I am in charge of having a talk with the costume department about putting Jim‘s super hairy back and tank tops. Brandan ends the conversation and the episode by saying, “I don’t kiss and tell.“ We will soon discover though, he does kiss, a lot.
Donna Martin Graduates: For the Love Of 90210 